shem banbury

Every year, as the warmth of summer overtakes us and my birthday approaches on the 31st of December, I find myself pondering the next challenge for my annual ritual. From writing a blog for a year to wearing the same pair of underwear for 365 days, my challenges have run the gamut of the bizarre and the seemingly impossible. But this year, in 2024, I’ve decided to embark on a journey that’s both unique and, dare I say, a little heavy.

Before delving into my latest challenge, let’s take a quick walk down memory lane. Over the past 16 years, I’ve tested my limits in various ways. From enduring a year without social media, to drinking only water, to peeing sitting down, and to consuming a single brussels sprout daily, I’ve tackled challenges that spanned the spectrum of human experience.

My first challenge started in 2008 with the goal of writing a blog for a year. This saw the creation of the critically acclaimed Ozymandias Warning blog, my entry into The Herald Romance Writing Competition, and my first book entitled ‘I am Alarmed’. Incidentally, in 2023 I wrote my second book entitled ‘Half Time‘).
Moving on, who could forget 2009 where I used the same Gillette razor for a year – shaving once per day.
In 2010, I completed one of my proudest personal achievements, wearing the same pair of underwear for an entire calendar year. The year 2011 marked my first of two failures. A hospital visit in April for suspected appendicitis, curtailed my attempt to see if it was possible to eat 3000 Weet-Bix in a calendar year. Then in 2012 (my second leap year) I failed to complete an elaborate daily push up challenge when I broke my ribs in a bike crash in November.
To get things back on track I went with the relatively safe option in 2013 of using no pillow and in 2014 I went an entire calendar year only drinking water. The year 2015 saw me revolt against one of the key comforts of our 21^st century lifestyle and live like Wim Hof by only having cold showers.
On a roll with my yearly challenges, 2016 proved to be the easiest – even though it included an extra day- with a year off all social media. However, this was followed in 2017 by my hardest challenge yet, running for a minimum of 30 minutes every day. Green vegetables were on the menu in 2018 when I ate one brussels sprout a day for 365 days straight.  The year 2019 once again had a food theme as I used the same knife, fork and spoon for a year. In 2020, the year of covid, I woke at 5:11am every morning and this was followed in 2021 where I became the first person in the world to listen to Bob Dylan’s Like a Rolling Stone every day for an entire year. During 2022, my yearly challenge moved to an academic focus. Reading the entire First Edition of the Encyclopedia of New Zealand. Last year, the year of 2023, my challenge involved a year of Sitzpinkling which is when males sit down to pee.

So, what does 2024 have to offer. Once again, I have decided to do something that no other human has achieved – at least according to google. It all started during a tramp around Mount Taranaki when I encountered a message at one of the huts, pleading for hikers to bring a log of wood to the next hut as it had run out. My wife and I obliged, and as we continued our 12-kilometer hike each carrying two large pieces of wood, I couldn’t help but ponder a question:

What’s the largest piece of wood a person could carry for an entire year?

Introducing “Constant Wood”:
Now, let’s dive into the heart of the matter — my 2024 challenge, which I affectionately call “Constant Wood.” Armed with a sturdy piece of Rimu wood, I’ve embarked on a mission that’s bound to raise a few eyebrows. The aim is to carry a piece of wood with me every single day for 365 days, and you might be wondering why anyone would take on such an eccentric challenge. Well, beyond the sheer novelty, there’s something undeniably fascinating about exploring the boundaries of what’s physically possible.
Early focus groups have gone straight to the sexual innuendo of my 2024 challenge. Yes, there is certainly some humorous questions which this topic explores – is it humanly possible to have a constant wood for an entire year? Fear not, the unwavering support of my pharmacist wife, Rachel, will ensure she has a ready supply of small blue pills lying around the house, just in case “Constant Wood” is beyond my natural ability.

But don’t let the playful innuendo distract you from the seriousness of my endeavor. “Constant Wood” is not just about humour, but also about testing my limits, challenging societal norms, and perhaps shedding light on some of the unexpected insights that come with it. Could this challenge reflect societal norms and personal expectations – sometimes we carry heavy loads, both literally and metaphorically, without questioning why? Time will tell will if this challenge is humourous, physical, metaphorical – or a mixture of all three.

Before we dive too deep into this challenge, let’s address some of the logistical questions. Yes, carrying a substantial piece of wood every day is as cumbersome as it sounds. My chosen piece of rimu wood is no lightweight, but it will become my constant companion – a daily reminder of my commitment to this endeavor.
I have taken the liberity of cutting the wood into three smaller pieces. This will enable me to fulfill mychallenge while swimming, running etc.

So, here’s to a year of carrying “Constant Wood” and all the unexpected lessons and adventures it may bring.