Abihail or Prasooona – Take your pick

Go on and admit it. Once when you were looking up a number in the phone book, a funny listing caught your eye. You chuckled at the poor guy whose name is also a curse word. Then you thought, “If I had nothing better to do, what other funny names could I find in the phone book?”
This happened to me the other day. I was searching the internet for ideas for our new baby which is due to arrive on the 25th May.

Instead I was sidetracked as I found a man by the name of Lunatic Fringe. Now this person could be a woman as many women I know do have lunatic fringes. And as I say to my wife – Never trust a woman with a straight fringe. However for the sake of this point I will assume he is male. Mr Lunatic Fringe lives at 26 Wills Rd Katikati, phone number 07 549 0308.

While the strange baby name is no new phenomena, there is a guy in the bible called Nimrod, but things have definitely taken a change in the last few years. Average middle class families have started to ditch the standard names like Karen and Joseph and opt for fancier ones like Madison and Ava. However, it is the sad self obsessed world of movie stars that baby naming has raged is out of control.

Gwyneth Paltrow and her husband Chris Martin have two children. The first named Apple and the second named Moses. According to Paltrow in an interview with Oprah in 2004 she chose the name because “Apples are so sweet, and they’re wholesome, and it’s also biblical”.

As strange as these names are in the world of celebrity showbiz they are nothing compared to some of names going around. Even ‘Apple’ seems drab compared with Hollywood baby names like Pilot Inspektor, cooked up by Jason Lee, the star of “My Name Is Earl”. You may have thought ‘Banjo’ was a musical instrument. Not according to “Six Feet Under” star Rachel Griffiths who thought this was the perfect name for her child. Another classic, Moxie CrimeFighter, a name chosen in 2006 by the comedian Penn Jillette for his daughter. Sadly this is only the tip of the ‘crazy name’ iceberg.
+++ Nicholas Cage has obviously been in too many Hollywood Blockbusters and named his on Kal-el Coppola – the name of Superman on the planet Kryptonite.
+++Julia Roberts son will have to go to a private school if he is going to avoid being beaten up at school with a name like Phinnaeus.
+ ++Frank Zappa the American musician named his son Moon Unit. Enough said.
+ ++Bob Geldof may have saved thousands of kids in Africa yet by naming his kid Fifi Trixibelle he may have destroyed the life of one living westerner.
+++Jamie Oliver is the naked chief who spends his time complaining to the British government about the large amount of fat in our diets. He then goes and names his children Daisy Boo and Poppy Honey; perhaps he should order his priorities a little better.

But it is George Foreman, the former world boxing champion and lean men fat reducing grilling machine expert who really takes the cake. He has 5 boys and two girls. The boys are George Junior, George III, George IV, George V and George VI. Meanwhile the girls are Fredda George and Georetta. It is a sad day when your grilling machine has a more original name than your children.

While all this is interesting it does very little to help me in my search for a baby name. As I will not be calling by baby Pilot I have resorted to the internet to help me decide on an appropriate baby name. Have been bestowed with the name ‘Shem’ I have enjoyed having a different name. It is something I think is important and so I am after something different yet not border on the bizarre.

There is a really helpful website which enables up and coming parents to decide on a name. All you have to do is put in your last name and the computer will do the rest and come forth with an appropriate name that matches you last name. This sounded perfect!!!

Just a quick note. Rachel and I do know the sex of the baby we are having. But we are not telling. So I will look at both boys and girls names just to keep you all fooled. Ha ha ha

Any way the first column is your name so I type in BANBURY. Next comes gender I go for BOTH ( just to keep you guys guessing). Then under style of name I put in RARE.
Our three year old laptop whirred and stuttered as the page slowly loaded. Ten names on the first page. 381 names in all, I had no idea the Banbury name was so versatile.
First up is Adramyttium Banbury which I am a little disappointed with. Especially when I find out the meaning is court of death. Things don’t get better as the second name is Avery Banbury although the meaning ‘my parents are alive’ is reassuring. Next up Sousroqa Banbury, then Rosamund Banbury, Minerva Banbury, Jupiter Banbury (meaning rules with elf wisdom) and Daganyah Banbury (which means ceremonial grain). To be honest if I named my child anything like that I would then have to spend my free time with the Hollywood elite.

I was about to kick my computer when I quickly glanced down at the final two names. Pleasingly these names proved to be suitable. Not so much in the actual name, but more in their meaning. For a girl we will go with Abihail Banbury, which is a derivative of Abigail and appropriately means ‘Father has Strength’. I can see you all nodding your heads in approval.
For the boys name the computer said to go with Prasoona Banbury. I like it. The double ‘o’ adds a little depth, without being pretentious, and the meaning ‘father is a lion’ is once again accurate.

So in 11 weeks time while Rachel is in the middle of her labour marathon. I will be at her side reassuringly cheering her on as we wait for Abihail or Prasooona (extra o’s added for even more depth) to come into the world.

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