Every December, as the pōhutukawa trees burst into bloom and my birthday looms on the 31st, I engage in a ritual of reflection and resolution.
For over 15 years, I’ve set myself peculiar, sometimes preposterous challenges. Each one a testament to human endurance, curiosity, and questionable decision-making. From the “constant wood” of 2024 to the liberating “cold showers” of 2015, these endeavours have defined the middle years of my life.
Each challenge has shaped me in its own way—pushing me out of my comfort zone, shifting my perspective, and often teaching me valuable lessons. These yearly pursuits have been as varied as they’ve been unpredictable; some testing my physical limits and others sparking unexpected moments of self-discovery. Over time they’ve come to tell a story of growth, humour, and a fair share of missteps. So, as I look back, here is a reminder of where this journey has taken me.
2008, saw the launch of my first blog, a venture into romance writing, and a published book.
2009, the year of loyalty to a single Gillette razor, shaving daily for 365 days.
2010, the year of no new underwear (or friends, it seemed).
2011 brought my first failure: the “3,000 Weet-Bix Challenge,” thwarted by suspected appendicitis and 3 days in Tauranga Hospital.
2012, another failure, with a bike crash and cracked ribs interrupting an elaborate push-up challenge.
2013 saw the comfortless existence of a year without a pillow.
2014 was strictly hydrated with only water, no other beverages.
2015 built on the previous year with water still the theme as I went cold with daily Wim Hof-style showers.
2016, a year off all social media—a blissful detox.
2017, my hardest yet, running a minimum of 30 minutes daily.
2018 made Brussels sprouts the star, eating one daily for 365 days.
2019 was the year of dining loyalty, using the same knife, fork, and spoon all year.
2020, waking at 5:11am every morning, because why not add punctuality to the chaos of COVID?
2021, when Bob Dylan crooned “Like a Rolling Stone” into my ears every single day— arguably prophetic for what’s to come in 2025.
2022, with an academic focus, reading the entire First Edition of the Encyclopedia of New Zealand.
2023, my year of “Sitzpinkling,” where sitting down to pee became a daily commitment. This was also the year of my second book entitled Half Time – purchase it here.
2024, the year of “Constant Wood,” when a piece of Rimu became my constant companion.
As I retire my trusty piece of Rimu and soothe my callused lower back, I’m reminded of Chris Wood’s stellar season with Nottingham Forest. Just as Wood has consistently risen at the back post to score goals, my own wood has been there, through all that 2024 has thrown at me.
But let’s move on and look towards 2025 and see what madness this year will bring. This year, after much deliberation and advice, my goal is to perform a roly poly every day of 2025.
Yes, you read that right.
A roly poly. A forward roll. The staple of childhood gymnastics routines, playground escapades, and moments of questionable adult judgment.
Why a roly poly, you ask? Because it’s the perfect fusion of humour, nostalgia, and potential spinal recalibration. Because after the physically demanding challenge of “constant wood,” I felt it was time for something…rounder. And because, if I’m being honest, I’ve always wondered how someone deep into their forties gracefully executes a roly poly.
Let’s address the elephant in the room: logistics. What qualifies as a valid roly poly? Must it be forward? Will there be style points? Can I roly poly at the supermarket? The gym? A wedding? Yes, yes, and yes. Like my other challenges, the rules are both simple and strict: one roly poly per day, anywhere, anytime, in any attire – at my choosing.
I anticipate a year of new experiences and challenges. How will my wife, Rachel, react to a roly poly on our anniversary dinner date? Will I risk eviction for rolling through airport security? Will my deputy principal duties, and the end of year prize giving, allow for such a movement? Only time will tell.
Here’s to a year of tumbles, turns, and topsy-turvy adventures—let the rolling begin! Feel free to follow me on Insta…
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